[ alaya's diary --- !*

Subject: [ alaya's diary --- !* Tue Jun 14, 2011 10:53 pm

Today at market we had a rowdy group of men passing through, they looked like soldiers in training to me, and anyways they were causing a lot of ruckus in the place. It was like they just came from the pub or something... But father had to threaten them because they had started to cause a lot of trouble, and when they didn't believe them, father used firebending to chase them away.
Yeah. We didn't talk much for the rest of the sales day after that. For him to do that in front of me, just... Urgh. If he's gonna be a jerk and not teach me he should at least have the decency not to use it in front of me, right?
But that was the second time I've ever seen him bend. And it was only for a moment, and I could only see his back. Blechhh why can't he just teach me? It's gotten to the point that he doesn't even let me watch Agni Kais or anything, he doesn't let me watch anyone bend, and he even refuses to acknowledge that bending even exists.
I have a right mind to just run off and leave him here, but I could never do that to him or mother... Even though I'm so angry. Mother doesn't understand. She's not a Bender. I can't talk to her about it. I feel like something's so built up inside me but I don't know how to let it out.
Tomorrow I'm going out to practice bending on my own. Maybe I'll make some embers or sparks instead of just smoke and fumes. They're like stupid little balls of poof. I'll never intimidate anyone with that.
Thanks, diary...

Love, Alaya